Even under the best of conditions, getting a divorce can be incredibly stressful. Under the worst of conditions, it can be an absolute nightmare. While you can only control your behavior and emotions, there are some things you can do that may foster an amicable parting and avoid the toxicity.
Take Advantage Of Mediation
The longer it takes to negotiate the terms of a divorce, the more expensive it is. It's also that much more stress to deal with, as living life angry and in limbo is no fun for anyone. Mediation is when both parties agree to meet with a neutral third party to hammer out an agreement that works for everyone. The alternative is a costly, contested divorce that very well may end in lengthy court proceedings where a judge decides who gets what. This can leave everyone unhappy, bitter, and angry.
Take The Higher Road
Emotions run high during a divorce, especially if one party doesn't want to dissolve the relationship or one party was cheating. It's natural for both parties to have feelings of rejection and loss, regardless of the circumstances. But the blame game didn't work when you were in the relationship, and it's going to work even less now. No matter how much the other party tries to drag you into it, don't get sidetracked from your goal—getting divorced as quickly and painlessly as possible.
Don't Play Games
Making threats and playing hardball won't get you anywhere. Neither will trying to hurt the other person more than they already have been. Recognize that it takes two to make a marriage, and even if you couldn't come together to successfully make it work, you don't have to make it harder to dissolve. Try to stay focused on what is best for the unit as a whole, especially if children are involved, and let everyone get out as unscathed as conceivable. The goal is not to win at any cost.
Practice Your Communication Skills
If there are no children involved and you don't jointly own a business, you don't need to worry as much about fostering communication. But most people will have to continue to see one another as they parent their children or run their business together. A divorce won't magically cure the communication problems you likely had in the past, but like it or not, you are going to still have to work on improving your communication skills for the sake of everyone's sanity.
Breaking up is hard to do but doing your part to not make it any harder than it needs to be will benefit everyone. Make sure your divorce attorney is aware of your goals for as peaceful a divorce as possible.
Share10 December 2018
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